Just 4 more weeks until I load the car and road-trip my way to San Francisco to start a life-changing year with Because Justice Matters.
This blog will continue with a new address: www.becausejusticematters2013.blogspot.com
Check it out and see what's happening now at BJM.
The Women's Center - called The Well - opened last week. Day by day, more people will walk in the door wondering "what's this thing?....Can I come in?....Is there room for me in this family?"
Please follow this adventure on my "summer's over and I ended up back in SF" new blog site.
Love
Friday, September 13, 2013
Friday, September 6, 2013
Hearts Everywhere...back home in Madison
SO...today the City of San Francisco officially signed the final inspection papers for the Because Justice Matters Women's Center - called "The Well." YES YES Yes!!! After months of work, Ruthie Kim (BJM Director) getting calls about pipes under the floor that didn't connect with anything, termite damage and leaking bathtubs in overhead apartments.....negotiations, fixing, re-fixing...the amazing general contractor giving HOURS and hours and hours of his time at no cost....it's finally ready to happen.
and I'm here in Madison, once again wishing I could clone myself and be in two places at once.
My be-loved BJM sisters will host the opening festivities. Invite guests, donors and interested folks. And, open the doors for the first time to the beautiful women of the Tenderloin who have been waiting for this safe place full of love to become a reality.
People ask, "How does it feel to be back home in Madison?" Surreal, to be honest. Middleton is really quiet. I never realized how quiet. How warm and inviting its streets and neighborhoods are. Been to Sofra 3x and I"ve only been here a week!
It's touchingly beautiful. Plus, I'm staying with kind, generous friends who live on Lake Mendota (My Dad spoils me....you bet!) In fact, right now I'm watching the last of the sunset glow in the sky and resting with the gentle lap of lake water against the shore.
And, a few times a day, I get a sudden jolt from somewhere inside. "The women's center is opening...I need to be there!" Or, "What's happening with this woman (or that woman or....) I want to know now." I want to teleport myself there like on Star Trek.
Before I left for San Francisco, my pastor Paul Bell told me I would be changed. I wouldn't return the same person. As usual, he was right. I'm not. I'm glad for new insights and ways of seeing my life. I'm challenged to think of the impossible as possible. To start not just "asking" for Taco trucks and breakthroughs and HEALING of mental illness....but to expect it. To start to look for it like you look for a friend you know is coming. Not sure exactly when, but this trusted, beloved friend promised to come....and always keeps promises.
When I was in Madison, I often thought "I don't see how this can happen...will churches coming out of their isolation to take this city?...I don't see it, Dad." Now, I'm repenting for those thoughts. I'm sorry for giving them space in my head. I want to be willing to risk and give and fail and try again.
So, thinking about Madison. Talking with Michelle Trehey whose heart is the size of Lake Michigan. Who wants to see women on State Street be healed and loved. About Lynn Beyler who has joyfully served dinner to thousands (by now) for the past 10 years at Peace Park. About Brian and Paula Doty and the Chandler Street community....waking up every morning expecting to see God do new things. Dreaming of change and love. Looking to build bridges of vision and relationship.
Of course, I think about Lilada Gee - a woman who doesn't seem to know the meaning of the word impossible. She has a house for teen, single, African-American mothers.
I'm longing to see the Body of Christ come alongside people like these - and others.
and I'm here in Madison, once again wishing I could clone myself and be in two places at once.
My be-loved BJM sisters will host the opening festivities. Invite guests, donors and interested folks. And, open the doors for the first time to the beautiful women of the Tenderloin who have been waiting for this safe place full of love to become a reality.
People ask, "How does it feel to be back home in Madison?" Surreal, to be honest. Middleton is really quiet. I never realized how quiet. How warm and inviting its streets and neighborhoods are. Been to Sofra 3x and I"ve only been here a week!
It's touchingly beautiful. Plus, I'm staying with kind, generous friends who live on Lake Mendota (My Dad spoils me....you bet!) In fact, right now I'm watching the last of the sunset glow in the sky and resting with the gentle lap of lake water against the shore.
And, a few times a day, I get a sudden jolt from somewhere inside. "The women's center is opening...I need to be there!" Or, "What's happening with this woman (or that woman or....) I want to know now." I want to teleport myself there like on Star Trek.
Before I left for San Francisco, my pastor Paul Bell told me I would be changed. I wouldn't return the same person. As usual, he was right. I'm not. I'm glad for new insights and ways of seeing my life. I'm challenged to think of the impossible as possible. To start not just "asking" for Taco trucks and breakthroughs and HEALING of mental illness....but to expect it. To start to look for it like you look for a friend you know is coming. Not sure exactly when, but this trusted, beloved friend promised to come....and always keeps promises.
When I was in Madison, I often thought "I don't see how this can happen...will churches coming out of their isolation to take this city?...I don't see it, Dad." Now, I'm repenting for those thoughts. I'm sorry for giving them space in my head. I want to be willing to risk and give and fail and try again.
So, thinking about Madison. Talking with Michelle Trehey whose heart is the size of Lake Michigan. Who wants to see women on State Street be healed and loved. About Lynn Beyler who has joyfully served dinner to thousands (by now) for the past 10 years at Peace Park. About Brian and Paula Doty and the Chandler Street community....waking up every morning expecting to see God do new things. Dreaming of change and love. Looking to build bridges of vision and relationship.
Of course, I think about Lilada Gee - a woman who doesn't seem to know the meaning of the word impossible. She has a house for teen, single, African-American mothers.
I'm longing to see the Body of Christ come alongside people like these - and others.
Monday, August 26, 2013
All this...and a taco truck
Last week thoughts:
this is my last week in San Francisco - until October. I'm going back to madison to tie up loose ends, figure out what to do with an entire apartment of furniture, do all my medical stuff one more time whie I still have my uber-$$ state of Wisconsin insurance...and see friends and loved ones.
Then, I'm returning to Because Justice Matters and glorious San Francisco to spend a year here launching the women's center. Also spending one day each week with Unlikely Heroes, an outreach to teen girls in prostitution in Oakland, CA - across the bay from SF and "home" to the longest "track" in America (stretch of street that is "home" to trafficked individuals and the people who come to buy people).
What are my reflections? I love this city. Its wild, often irreverent humor. Its creativity and love of the innovative and unusual. Its quirky individualism and downright unusual citizens. All that and a taco truck!
Speaking of a taco truck, Unlikely Heroes wants one to use like a trojan horse...a way to gain entry to the International Blvd "track" in Oakland. Selling tacos. Feeding young women and building relationships. Connecting. Loving. Praying. I've started noticing taco trucks...now all over the place. And wondering...which one is for Unlikely Heroes? What does Father God have up his supernatural sleeve?
More reflections: people living in poverty are hungry for God. They don't have the luxury of pooh-poohing dependence on God. They look for God to help them. They cling to hope like a life raft.
I've been praying for people on the streets. On the bus. At cross walks. Anywhere they are willing. Interesting....people rarely say No when I ask, "Could I pray for you?" Prayed for a man with a degenerating knee joint. A woman with a back problem. Man with a back problem and another guy who seems to hurt everywhere. A hiker trying to complete part of the Pacific Crest trail on his summer vacation from work (must be a teacher...didn't ask) He fell and hurt is leg. Let me pray while we waited at the crosswalk in Sacramento. And, lots and lots of people here in the Tenderloin. Are people being healed? Not yet- that I know of. But I've decided to keep praying for anybody who is willing...and eventually I'll see results!
One of my reflections is that so many people in the Tenderloin have physical problems. Years of poor food, sleeping on concrete or in cheap SRO saggy-mattress beds, inadequate medical care and trauma-related stress have taken their toll. I'm praying that government medical assistance will someday (SOON, please) be required to provide dental care. One of the sure signs that someone has done time on the streets is their teeth. People have literally lost or had pulled most of their teeth. I rarely see a person on the streets with a full set. This interferes with nutrition (ability to eat nutritious food) and overall health. People live in constant pain from rotten teeth. We are the United States of America. We can do better than this! We are better than this.
One of the things I wanted to explore this summer was the meaning of justice. Part of my calling from God is a desire to see justice done. To work for justice. To believe that justice is not only possible but right in the middle of God's heart.
What I've discovered is that justice isn't what I thought it was. I thought justice was "making things right." People taking responsibility for their actions or the actions of our society. And, if necessary, paying the penalty for their ungodly choices.
Justice is more than evening the balance between good and bad. It's more than making up for wrongs done by doing good in their stead. Justice is ever more radical levels of love. It is giving love that isn't deserved and doesn't have to be earned. it is learning that love "looks like something" to quote Heidi Baker. And that something ....that sacrificial giving and 2nd mile way of living....is justice.
Today, understanding justice came in the form of the "watcher" at Aroma Spa, a "massage parlor" about 3 blocks from the YWAM base. All day and into the night, an old asian man stands next to the door of this building - which advertises massages but, in fact, is a brothel where poor, young, asian women (who may not even speak English) are sold to men for sex.
When I pass this man, I smile and say, "Good evening" as if he were a kind shopkeeper viewing passers-by on the street. He isn't. His eyes are vacant. Like dark, expressionless holes. Empty. His facial expression is the same. Empty. And, it is always like this, no matter when you pass.
I thought of the Old Testament story of Pharoah and Moses. Moses asked Pharoah for mercy. Pharoah "hardened his heart" Moses tried again and Pharoah hardened his heart again. This happened over and over. Finally God essentially said, that's it....and he gave Pharoah his own way...God let Pharoah's heart remain hard.
"making things right" view of justice would mean this man could be beyond hope. That he has dug his spiritual grave and he will lie in it. Beyond redemption. Ever more radical levels of love means that, as I passed by this terrible place with its terrible door-keeper, I prayed, "Mercy God. You can reach this man's heart. I release an assignment in the spirit for him to receive a revelation of Jesus and an invitation to leave this living death behind. I'm like a praying version of one of those perfume-sprayer women in the mall department stores......releasing the sweet smell of God's love all around.
It would be right and appropriate for this man to be punished for his wrongs. For being part of an industry that trafficks young women and men and sells them into sex slavery. It would be right for him to suffer - he has made others suffer.
But, what I'm seeing about justice as "greater levels of love" is the idea that even more "rightness" would result...even more balancing of some eternal scale of good defeating evil....if this man saw his wrongs and came to God for mercy.....and received it. "Making it right" is good. Mercy is even better. "taking responsibility for one's actions" is good. Undeserved, unearned, forgiving love is better.
So, I learned something every day - multiple times every day - from the beautiful people in the Tenderloin. I've seen generosity and kindness from people who have so little - and experience little to no kindness in return. I've seen incredible courage right alongside cowardice and abuse of the less powerful.
I am grateful for the lessons of the Tenderloin. For the witness of Because Justice Matters just loving and loving and loving. Loving when there doesn't seem to be an answer. Loving when someone rejects that love and returns to their pain and addiction. Loving and loving and loving....whether the "other person" makes it right or not.
This is the kind of justice I want to embrace. God, give us hearts that will "do justice, love mercy and walk humbly" with you.
So, in only a short 3 months here with BJM in the Tenderloin, I have received so much. All this....whether I know what to do with it or not. I'm grateful. This is why I have decided to return and spend the next year - at least- here.
Please pray for BJM. For all this and more. All this time 1,000. All this and a taco truck!
See you in Madison on Friday. Love to all.
this is my last week in San Francisco - until October. I'm going back to madison to tie up loose ends, figure out what to do with an entire apartment of furniture, do all my medical stuff one more time whie I still have my uber-$$ state of Wisconsin insurance...and see friends and loved ones.
Then, I'm returning to Because Justice Matters and glorious San Francisco to spend a year here launching the women's center. Also spending one day each week with Unlikely Heroes, an outreach to teen girls in prostitution in Oakland, CA - across the bay from SF and "home" to the longest "track" in America (stretch of street that is "home" to trafficked individuals and the people who come to buy people).
What are my reflections? I love this city. Its wild, often irreverent humor. Its creativity and love of the innovative and unusual. Its quirky individualism and downright unusual citizens. All that and a taco truck!
Speaking of a taco truck, Unlikely Heroes wants one to use like a trojan horse...a way to gain entry to the International Blvd "track" in Oakland. Selling tacos. Feeding young women and building relationships. Connecting. Loving. Praying. I've started noticing taco trucks...now all over the place. And wondering...which one is for Unlikely Heroes? What does Father God have up his supernatural sleeve?
More reflections: people living in poverty are hungry for God. They don't have the luxury of pooh-poohing dependence on God. They look for God to help them. They cling to hope like a life raft.
I've been praying for people on the streets. On the bus. At cross walks. Anywhere they are willing. Interesting....people rarely say No when I ask, "Could I pray for you?" Prayed for a man with a degenerating knee joint. A woman with a back problem. Man with a back problem and another guy who seems to hurt everywhere. A hiker trying to complete part of the Pacific Crest trail on his summer vacation from work (must be a teacher...didn't ask) He fell and hurt is leg. Let me pray while we waited at the crosswalk in Sacramento. And, lots and lots of people here in the Tenderloin. Are people being healed? Not yet- that I know of. But I've decided to keep praying for anybody who is willing...and eventually I'll see results!
One of my reflections is that so many people in the Tenderloin have physical problems. Years of poor food, sleeping on concrete or in cheap SRO saggy-mattress beds, inadequate medical care and trauma-related stress have taken their toll. I'm praying that government medical assistance will someday (SOON, please) be required to provide dental care. One of the sure signs that someone has done time on the streets is their teeth. People have literally lost or had pulled most of their teeth. I rarely see a person on the streets with a full set. This interferes with nutrition (ability to eat nutritious food) and overall health. People live in constant pain from rotten teeth. We are the United States of America. We can do better than this! We are better than this.
One of the things I wanted to explore this summer was the meaning of justice. Part of my calling from God is a desire to see justice done. To work for justice. To believe that justice is not only possible but right in the middle of God's heart.
What I've discovered is that justice isn't what I thought it was. I thought justice was "making things right." People taking responsibility for their actions or the actions of our society. And, if necessary, paying the penalty for their ungodly choices.
Justice is more than evening the balance between good and bad. It's more than making up for wrongs done by doing good in their stead. Justice is ever more radical levels of love. It is giving love that isn't deserved and doesn't have to be earned. it is learning that love "looks like something" to quote Heidi Baker. And that something ....that sacrificial giving and 2nd mile way of living....is justice.
Today, understanding justice came in the form of the "watcher" at Aroma Spa, a "massage parlor" about 3 blocks from the YWAM base. All day and into the night, an old asian man stands next to the door of this building - which advertises massages but, in fact, is a brothel where poor, young, asian women (who may not even speak English) are sold to men for sex.
When I pass this man, I smile and say, "Good evening" as if he were a kind shopkeeper viewing passers-by on the street. He isn't. His eyes are vacant. Like dark, expressionless holes. Empty. His facial expression is the same. Empty. And, it is always like this, no matter when you pass.
I thought of the Old Testament story of Pharoah and Moses. Moses asked Pharoah for mercy. Pharoah "hardened his heart" Moses tried again and Pharoah hardened his heart again. This happened over and over. Finally God essentially said, that's it....and he gave Pharoah his own way...God let Pharoah's heart remain hard.
"making things right" view of justice would mean this man could be beyond hope. That he has dug his spiritual grave and he will lie in it. Beyond redemption. Ever more radical levels of love means that, as I passed by this terrible place with its terrible door-keeper, I prayed, "Mercy God. You can reach this man's heart. I release an assignment in the spirit for him to receive a revelation of Jesus and an invitation to leave this living death behind. I'm like a praying version of one of those perfume-sprayer women in the mall department stores......releasing the sweet smell of God's love all around.
It would be right and appropriate for this man to be punished for his wrongs. For being part of an industry that trafficks young women and men and sells them into sex slavery. It would be right for him to suffer - he has made others suffer.
But, what I'm seeing about justice as "greater levels of love" is the idea that even more "rightness" would result...even more balancing of some eternal scale of good defeating evil....if this man saw his wrongs and came to God for mercy.....and received it. "Making it right" is good. Mercy is even better. "taking responsibility for one's actions" is good. Undeserved, unearned, forgiving love is better.
So, I learned something every day - multiple times every day - from the beautiful people in the Tenderloin. I've seen generosity and kindness from people who have so little - and experience little to no kindness in return. I've seen incredible courage right alongside cowardice and abuse of the less powerful.
I am grateful for the lessons of the Tenderloin. For the witness of Because Justice Matters just loving and loving and loving. Loving when there doesn't seem to be an answer. Loving when someone rejects that love and returns to their pain and addiction. Loving and loving and loving....whether the "other person" makes it right or not.
This is the kind of justice I want to embrace. God, give us hearts that will "do justice, love mercy and walk humbly" with you.
So, in only a short 3 months here with BJM in the Tenderloin, I have received so much. All this....whether I know what to do with it or not. I'm grateful. This is why I have decided to return and spend the next year - at least- here.
Please pray for BJM. For all this and more. All this time 1,000. All this and a taco truck!
See you in Madison on Friday. Love to all.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
God-incidence
This week the YWAM staff all went on retreat. So, I came up to Bethel Church in Redding, CA to do some retreating of my own.
My "goal" - loosely - was to hang out with old friends from Madison who are in school here at Bethel...Chris and Sarah Pollasch, Melissa Haunty and Anne Collins. People I loved as children and LOVE LOVE LOVE as adults. (Plus Chris and Sarah have the most brilliant, creative, hilarious boys...when I'm a grandma, I'm going to have grandkids like Jackson and Leo!
Arrived Friday by bus. It's 106 degrees in Redding and eerily quiet. No police sirens, ambulances, or random yelling. Found myself listening really closely because there was almost nothing to hear! Too dry for crickets and too hot for anything else.
SAturday I headed to Bethel to visit their healing room. You come, listen to wonderful music, watch artists paint and dancers dance. And, when it's your turn, people pray for you. Come on, let's do this in Madison!!!
I had a list, prior to coming, of people I wanted to meet. I heard rumors that someone was doing healing prayer with art. Also heard about a woman who paints pictures of brains and trees. She's praying for the healing of broken minds through her painting.
I walk in the door. A lovely woman greets me, "I"m looking for two people. I don't know anything about them except that one woman paints brains and trees and another woman is doing healing prayer with art. Can you help me?"
Smiling lady turns and points to artists painting on easels in the center of the huge room. "These two...they're the women you're looking for."
There they are - Eliena and Gail - painting right next to each other. I introduce myself. Tell them I want to learn about doing healing prayer with art and I want to hear about Eliene's vision for the healing of broken minds. Tell them about the women of the Tenderloin.
Eliene says, "Can I come to the women's center and paint? I'd be willing to teach classes for women. And, I'd like to come and pray and paint what God says about healing broken minds."
Gail says, "If you have time this afternoon I could meet with you. Talk about doing healing prayer with art. Would you like to do some yourself?"
This was only the beginning. I've met with a therapist who does healing prayer with trauma survivors. She wants to come, with a couple of her friends, to the Women's Center to train BJM staff in working with severe trauma. "The place where I used to work has funds budgeted for therapists to share this kind of skill and information with non-profits and ministries like BJM. We could come. They would pay for it." I had no words. Not a one (Yeah, you don't believe that's possible...go ahead and think it). Finally I blurted out, "Really?" She laughed. "Yeah. Isn't this the coolest thing! God is so amazing!"
Today I had a whirlwind meeting with a woman who is exploring new ways to envision and create healthy personal boundaries (Instead of just learning how to say "No" you get to learn how to discover yourself as the queen in your castle....taking your jewels to others as they are able to handle and receive.....wow) Tomorrow I have a healing prayer time just for ME! And Friday I get to hear Eliene talk about healing minds and touching the soul through art.
Can I say unbelievable? Spectacular? Unexpected? cool?
Returning to San Francisco for one final week. Then, back to Madison.
If you haven't been following this blog regularly, I need to let you know that I've decided to return to San Francisco. I'll spend 4-6 weeks in Madison (Maybe squeeze in a visit to my New York daughter) and then a cross-country road trip...My 1999 camry and I will pull into the YWAM base in late october-ish. I've committed myself to spend a year here, giving what I can to the women's center, pouring love into the young YWAM staff, creating resources for healing and recovery. Praying for random people anywhere I can find them. Releasing the Kingdom of God and setting spiritual fires wherever I go.
I'll post a couple more times before this "summer blog" draws to an end. love to all,.....
My "goal" - loosely - was to hang out with old friends from Madison who are in school here at Bethel...Chris and Sarah Pollasch, Melissa Haunty and Anne Collins. People I loved as children and LOVE LOVE LOVE as adults. (Plus Chris and Sarah have the most brilliant, creative, hilarious boys...when I'm a grandma, I'm going to have grandkids like Jackson and Leo!
Arrived Friday by bus. It's 106 degrees in Redding and eerily quiet. No police sirens, ambulances, or random yelling. Found myself listening really closely because there was almost nothing to hear! Too dry for crickets and too hot for anything else.
SAturday I headed to Bethel to visit their healing room. You come, listen to wonderful music, watch artists paint and dancers dance. And, when it's your turn, people pray for you. Come on, let's do this in Madison!!!
I had a list, prior to coming, of people I wanted to meet. I heard rumors that someone was doing healing prayer with art. Also heard about a woman who paints pictures of brains and trees. She's praying for the healing of broken minds through her painting.
I walk in the door. A lovely woman greets me, "I"m looking for two people. I don't know anything about them except that one woman paints brains and trees and another woman is doing healing prayer with art. Can you help me?"
Smiling lady turns and points to artists painting on easels in the center of the huge room. "These two...they're the women you're looking for."
There they are - Eliena and Gail - painting right next to each other. I introduce myself. Tell them I want to learn about doing healing prayer with art and I want to hear about Eliene's vision for the healing of broken minds. Tell them about the women of the Tenderloin.
Eliene says, "Can I come to the women's center and paint? I'd be willing to teach classes for women. And, I'd like to come and pray and paint what God says about healing broken minds."
Gail says, "If you have time this afternoon I could meet with you. Talk about doing healing prayer with art. Would you like to do some yourself?"
This was only the beginning. I've met with a therapist who does healing prayer with trauma survivors. She wants to come, with a couple of her friends, to the Women's Center to train BJM staff in working with severe trauma. "The place where I used to work has funds budgeted for therapists to share this kind of skill and information with non-profits and ministries like BJM. We could come. They would pay for it." I had no words. Not a one (Yeah, you don't believe that's possible...go ahead and think it). Finally I blurted out, "Really?" She laughed. "Yeah. Isn't this the coolest thing! God is so amazing!"
Today I had a whirlwind meeting with a woman who is exploring new ways to envision and create healthy personal boundaries (Instead of just learning how to say "No" you get to learn how to discover yourself as the queen in your castle....taking your jewels to others as they are able to handle and receive.....wow) Tomorrow I have a healing prayer time just for ME! And Friday I get to hear Eliene talk about healing minds and touching the soul through art.
Can I say unbelievable? Spectacular? Unexpected? cool?
Returning to San Francisco for one final week. Then, back to Madison.
If you haven't been following this blog regularly, I need to let you know that I've decided to return to San Francisco. I'll spend 4-6 weeks in Madison (Maybe squeeze in a visit to my New York daughter) and then a cross-country road trip...My 1999 camry and I will pull into the YWAM base in late october-ish. I've committed myself to spend a year here, giving what I can to the women's center, pouring love into the young YWAM staff, creating resources for healing and recovery. Praying for random people anywhere I can find them. Releasing the Kingdom of God and setting spiritual fires wherever I go.
I'll post a couple more times before this "summer blog" draws to an end. love to all,.....
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
San Francisco Street Poet meets Wisconsin
Heading out for an early evening walk...lots of tourists waiting for the Cable car on Powell Street. Really fine jazz music rolling out from the Jazz club on Ellis. Recognize the doorman/bouncer from John's, the restaurant in the famous spy thriller, The Maltese Falcon. Still in business...hear they serve a mighty martini!
At the corner, a 60-something gentlemen approaches. I smile. He smiles. He's a little frayed around the edges but clean and pleasant. "I"m a street poet," he announces. "May I share some of my poetry with you?"
"I love poetry! Absolutely." I stop to listen.
His poem is about the mind and heart...something like "My mind goes out into the world to discover...my heart goes out into the world to love..." He does a little "namaste" style bow at the end and asks me for "a contribution."
Now, I don't give money to anyone. YWAM discourages giving money....crack cocaine can be bought for less than $1. Alcohol for $2. Meals are available 3x daily across the street at Glide Church. giving money may not actually be helpful or loving.
But, here is this lovely poet. This beat poet, old-guy poet, sharing lovely ideas about hearts and minds. What can I say?
"I don't give money to anyone," I reply. "I"m sorry, but I don't....could I give you a poem in return?"
He looks surprised. "Sure...Yeah. Let's hear it..."
The only thing that comes to mind is a treasure from Elizabeth Rooney, a Wisconsin farmer and small-town lover of people and the land:
"I haven't cleaned the cellar
I forgot to sweep the stair
and there's an old, arthritic lady whom I should uphold in prayer
Yet here I sit in the moonlight
the moonlight
the moonlight
adoring you, God, in the moonlight,
as if I have no care."
elizabeth Rooney is perfect for the Tenderloin. She invites you into the simple. Into the moment. She has no fancy answers or complicated theology. She only has beauty. And the promise of God to show up and love.
The poet and I bowed to each other. He laughs. "Thank you," he said. "Thank you," I replied.
I headed toward Market Street thinking of a quiet table and a little dinner.
He toward the tourist stop - perhaps hoping for something beside a poem about God and moonlight from the next poetry lover.
At the corner, a 60-something gentlemen approaches. I smile. He smiles. He's a little frayed around the edges but clean and pleasant. "I"m a street poet," he announces. "May I share some of my poetry with you?"
"I love poetry! Absolutely." I stop to listen.
His poem is about the mind and heart...something like "My mind goes out into the world to discover...my heart goes out into the world to love..." He does a little "namaste" style bow at the end and asks me for "a contribution."
Now, I don't give money to anyone. YWAM discourages giving money....crack cocaine can be bought for less than $1. Alcohol for $2. Meals are available 3x daily across the street at Glide Church. giving money may not actually be helpful or loving.
But, here is this lovely poet. This beat poet, old-guy poet, sharing lovely ideas about hearts and minds. What can I say?
"I don't give money to anyone," I reply. "I"m sorry, but I don't....could I give you a poem in return?"
He looks surprised. "Sure...Yeah. Let's hear it..."
The only thing that comes to mind is a treasure from Elizabeth Rooney, a Wisconsin farmer and small-town lover of people and the land:
"I haven't cleaned the cellar
I forgot to sweep the stair
and there's an old, arthritic lady whom I should uphold in prayer
Yet here I sit in the moonlight
the moonlight
the moonlight
adoring you, God, in the moonlight,
as if I have no care."
elizabeth Rooney is perfect for the Tenderloin. She invites you into the simple. Into the moment. She has no fancy answers or complicated theology. She only has beauty. And the promise of God to show up and love.
The poet and I bowed to each other. He laughs. "Thank you," he said. "Thank you," I replied.
I headed toward Market Street thinking of a quiet table and a little dinner.
He toward the tourist stop - perhaps hoping for something beside a poem about God and moonlight from the next poetry lover.
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Saturday....heading to the neighborhood farmer's market. Being a Wisconsin lady, I'm accustomed to seeing really fresh fruit or veggies come and go - sometimes within a week or so. Missing Wisconsin sweet corn and tomatoes is all I can say!
San Francisco is all about farmer's markets. In the Tenderloin, folks walk 5 blocks to Market Street where vendors line a pedestrian mall area near the amazing public library. Stats show that 75% of the foodstamps used at farmer's markets in the region are used right here in this neighborhood. This is particularly important because there are NO grocery stores in the Tenderloin. Some little mom-and-pop convenience stores serve the community. Some do it well - like the Amigos Grocery a couple of blocks from the YWAM base. The middle eastern owners kept the "friendly" name. Other store owners exploit the poor with high prices, low quality, and an emphasis on cigarettes and lottery tickets.
So, heading to the wonderful farmer's market today. Strawberries are still in season (yeah, I hear the groans from the midwest here!). tomatoes look great. Gonna see if California sweet corn measures up. And salad stuff....lots of salad stuff!
Heading to Redding, California on Friday for a week-long "soak" in God's presence at Bethel Church. The YWAM staff are going on retreat. I will be staying with the spectacular Chris and Sarah Pollash and their hilarious, beautiful boys. Then, a night with Melissa Haunty - ready to start her 3rd year as a School of Supernatural Ministry student at Bethel....and one brilliant, anointed girl!
Being here for nearly 3 months now, i see the need for retreat. For time spent away and in quiet. Or time spent laughing and just having fun. Living with your front door literally "on the street" takes a lot out of people. Thursday, YWAM opens their "ellis room" for a food pantry for elderly neighbors. Picture a line of a hundred or more tiny, Chinese grandmothers, disabled seniors, and a few grizzled old guys...often vets living in SRO apartments. Some of the Chinese grandmas shout instructions (in Chinese, of course). all the volunteers smile and hand out fresh fruit and vegetables. A dozen eggs. This week, canned soup that will be nice on a cold evening...
An angry, not-elderly man comes in demanding food. Sorry....only for seniors. He yells. Threatens W, a kind, good-humored guy from YWAM's 360 discipleship group for guys from the streets. For a few minutes, I'm afraid W. is going to be hurt. YWAM folks are praying silently. W. stays calm. Doesn't return the threat (a new skill for this man who has lived on the streets since he was a kid....thank you, Jesus!) Police are called. Things settle.
Places like the Tenderloin can be emotionally draining, physically in-your-face. YWAM people work really hard. They (in my humble, midwestern opinion) need more rest - and time to do it!
Thursday I rode the 27 bus up (and up and up) the hills to see my daughter Beth and her guy Casey. Waited at the corner...a bar across the street where somebody (quite literally ) staggers out. Not sure if he's going to walk right into a moving vehicle. On a regular basis here I find myself saying, "Jesus, we need you here. Help! This isn't good."He makes it across with some luck and maybe angels.
On the bus stop side of Ellis, there's a dark, sorta sketchy looking storefront. Turns out, it's the local version of Fitchburg Serenity Center (location for AA and other 12 Step meetings). An AA meeting adjourns and smiling, friendly folks exit. People hug each other. "See you tomorrow," someone says. A blind man jokes with another gentlemen sitting on the sidewalk. "I'm in your way," says sidewalk sitting guy. "Not at all," jokes the blind man, "Just walkin' where you happen to be sittin'"
Now, I get to whisper, "Thank you, Jesus. This is good."
San Francisco is all about farmer's markets. In the Tenderloin, folks walk 5 blocks to Market Street where vendors line a pedestrian mall area near the amazing public library. Stats show that 75% of the foodstamps used at farmer's markets in the region are used right here in this neighborhood. This is particularly important because there are NO grocery stores in the Tenderloin. Some little mom-and-pop convenience stores serve the community. Some do it well - like the Amigos Grocery a couple of blocks from the YWAM base. The middle eastern owners kept the "friendly" name. Other store owners exploit the poor with high prices, low quality, and an emphasis on cigarettes and lottery tickets.
So, heading to the wonderful farmer's market today. Strawberries are still in season (yeah, I hear the groans from the midwest here!). tomatoes look great. Gonna see if California sweet corn measures up. And salad stuff....lots of salad stuff!
Heading to Redding, California on Friday for a week-long "soak" in God's presence at Bethel Church. The YWAM staff are going on retreat. I will be staying with the spectacular Chris and Sarah Pollash and their hilarious, beautiful boys. Then, a night with Melissa Haunty - ready to start her 3rd year as a School of Supernatural Ministry student at Bethel....and one brilliant, anointed girl!
Being here for nearly 3 months now, i see the need for retreat. For time spent away and in quiet. Or time spent laughing and just having fun. Living with your front door literally "on the street" takes a lot out of people. Thursday, YWAM opens their "ellis room" for a food pantry for elderly neighbors. Picture a line of a hundred or more tiny, Chinese grandmothers, disabled seniors, and a few grizzled old guys...often vets living in SRO apartments. Some of the Chinese grandmas shout instructions (in Chinese, of course). all the volunteers smile and hand out fresh fruit and vegetables. A dozen eggs. This week, canned soup that will be nice on a cold evening...
An angry, not-elderly man comes in demanding food. Sorry....only for seniors. He yells. Threatens W, a kind, good-humored guy from YWAM's 360 discipleship group for guys from the streets. For a few minutes, I'm afraid W. is going to be hurt. YWAM folks are praying silently. W. stays calm. Doesn't return the threat (a new skill for this man who has lived on the streets since he was a kid....thank you, Jesus!) Police are called. Things settle.
Places like the Tenderloin can be emotionally draining, physically in-your-face. YWAM people work really hard. They (in my humble, midwestern opinion) need more rest - and time to do it!
Thursday I rode the 27 bus up (and up and up) the hills to see my daughter Beth and her guy Casey. Waited at the corner...a bar across the street where somebody (quite literally ) staggers out. Not sure if he's going to walk right into a moving vehicle. On a regular basis here I find myself saying, "Jesus, we need you here. Help! This isn't good."He makes it across with some luck and maybe angels.
On the bus stop side of Ellis, there's a dark, sorta sketchy looking storefront. Turns out, it's the local version of Fitchburg Serenity Center (location for AA and other 12 Step meetings). An AA meeting adjourns and smiling, friendly folks exit. People hug each other. "See you tomorrow," someone says. A blind man jokes with another gentlemen sitting on the sidewalk. "I'm in your way," says sidewalk sitting guy. "Not at all," jokes the blind man, "Just walkin' where you happen to be sittin'"
Now, I get to whisper, "Thank you, Jesus. This is good."
Sunday, August 4, 2013
"Will Take Insults for Money"
Last Saturday, the preacher at my SF church talked about speaking life into people. Speaking prophetically to people. This isn't any big hairy-headed deal as my Tree of Life pastor Paul Bell would say...It just means listening to hear how God sees someone...what His love looks like for that person...how He wants to lift up and affirm that person....and telling them).
I tucked this in my brain. Pulling it out occasionally to think on. Then, I was reading about something called Validation Therapy. It's a way to "enter the inner world" of an elderly person with dementia. Not asking them to enter "our" reality, but accepting theirs. This amazing approach encourages touch, eye contact, singing, and smiling. Eyes that say "I see you." Words that say, "I know you're there. You matter to me."
One bible verse says "speak words that build up and do not tear down, that you might be a source of grace (unearned love and favor) to the hearer." Ephesians 4:29.
so, more stuff rattling around in my brain. What does it mean to "validate" someone with schizophrenia whose speech makes no sense? To "enter the inner world" of a woman here in the Tenderloin who tries to use a little metal disc to reflect sunlight at passing cars to distract "them" so they won't be able to see her and do "bad things they do" to her.
I tried to be more conscious of listening. Of speaking affirming words.
Then, while trolling the internet in search of more Validation Therapy videos I find this glorious, creative testimony to kindness and "words that build up."
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao (if this link doesn't work, search "Validation - Youtube and you'll find it)
I was undone! (and now I can't stop the italics thing from happening. Oh well...)
On a city walk yesterday to go hang out and read my Kindle in the park, I passed a homeless man carrying a sign "Will Take Insults for Money" I passed by. Got about 10 steps when Holy Spirit said, "NO. He will not. Turn around."
So, I turned around. The guy was in pretty bad shape. Smelled awful. Dirty. Ragged. He was smiling but high. I walked up to him. "I don't have any insults. God wants you to know He loves you. He sees you and loves you. You are precious to Him. He's here and he's not mad at you. In fact, he thinks you're pretty creative. You found a creative way to make money. But, you are worth so much more than insults. You are worth His love." The man nodded and said, "I know." I said. "Good. He wants you to know that. He doesn't want insults for you...He wants you to hear that He loves you. You are important to him. Precious to Him. He sees you."
I smiled and began to walk away. He asked for money - and I don't give money to people on the streets....crack cocaine can be purchased for a dollar. I had given him what I really "own" anyway.
I'm having all kinds of feelings about this latest venture into God's heart. I like to solve problems. To be honest and "get it all out on the table." Yet, God wants to validate "the least among you." To build up people trying to hold life together with shaky, battered, fragmented 2x4s holding up their emotional and spiritual selves.
What if I ignore the "obvious" and, instead, validate. Speak life.
Last night I had one of those random thoughts....like a bird flying over your head and Zing...away again....What if the man had a sign that said, "Hear great things about yourself, 25 cents" ? What if he discovered, deep inside, that God really does love and cherish him? That he really is precious to the God of the Universe? And, what if he could trade THAT for money instead?
I tucked this in my brain. Pulling it out occasionally to think on. Then, I was reading about something called Validation Therapy. It's a way to "enter the inner world" of an elderly person with dementia. Not asking them to enter "our" reality, but accepting theirs. This amazing approach encourages touch, eye contact, singing, and smiling. Eyes that say "I see you." Words that say, "I know you're there. You matter to me."
One bible verse says "speak words that build up and do not tear down, that you might be a source of grace (unearned love and favor) to the hearer." Ephesians 4:29.
so, more stuff rattling around in my brain. What does it mean to "validate" someone with schizophrenia whose speech makes no sense? To "enter the inner world" of a woman here in the Tenderloin who tries to use a little metal disc to reflect sunlight at passing cars to distract "them" so they won't be able to see her and do "bad things they do" to her.
I tried to be more conscious of listening. Of speaking affirming words.
Then, while trolling the internet in search of more Validation Therapy videos I find this glorious, creative testimony to kindness and "words that build up."
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao (if this link doesn't work, search "Validation - Youtube and you'll find it)
I was undone! (and now I can't stop the italics thing from happening. Oh well...)
On a city walk yesterday to go hang out and read my Kindle in the park, I passed a homeless man carrying a sign "Will Take Insults for Money" I passed by. Got about 10 steps when Holy Spirit said, "NO. He will not. Turn around."
So, I turned around. The guy was in pretty bad shape. Smelled awful. Dirty. Ragged. He was smiling but high. I walked up to him. "I don't have any insults. God wants you to know He loves you. He sees you and loves you. You are precious to Him. He's here and he's not mad at you. In fact, he thinks you're pretty creative. You found a creative way to make money. But, you are worth so much more than insults. You are worth His love." The man nodded and said, "I know." I said. "Good. He wants you to know that. He doesn't want insults for you...He wants you to hear that He loves you. You are important to him. Precious to Him. He sees you."
I smiled and began to walk away. He asked for money - and I don't give money to people on the streets....crack cocaine can be purchased for a dollar. I had given him what I really "own" anyway.
I'm having all kinds of feelings about this latest venture into God's heart. I like to solve problems. To be honest and "get it all out on the table." Yet, God wants to validate "the least among you." To build up people trying to hold life together with shaky, battered, fragmented 2x4s holding up their emotional and spiritual selves.
What if I ignore the "obvious" and, instead, validate. Speak life.
Last night I had one of those random thoughts....like a bird flying over your head and Zing...away again....What if the man had a sign that said, "Hear great things about yourself, 25 cents" ? What if he discovered, deep inside, that God really does love and cherish him? That he really is precious to the God of the Universe? And, what if he could trade THAT for money instead?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)