Another week has whizzed by. About 160 children and another 35-40 parents, grandparents and aunties attended the BJM neighborhood family fun fest. Faces were painted. Bounces bounced. Food inhaled - including popcorn and cotton candy so we wouldn't forget for a minute that this was a PAR-teee. Games. Family photos. Free books and school stuff. AND, the UC Berkeley street-dancing troupe came to get everyone dancing. Everybody had fun - especially the wonderful young professional-type men and women who volunteered to help.
Weeks are intense. Fun. Full. I am falling into a rhythm of life here. Nail Day. Bible Study. Hangin' out with a young transgender person who is discovering the power of forgiveness.....both given and received. This week, observing another public hearing about a massage parlor asking to be re-zoned as a bath house (I haven't heard so many lies spoken with such straight faces since....well...never...and I used to teach juvenile delinquent boys in the department of Corrections in Illinois!).
I'm learning to listen more carefully. To see beneath the surface. What I'm seeing is an amazing depth in the women of the Tenderloin. They are not too proud to say they need God. They are not too hardened by the trauma in their lives to deny the many times God has rescued them.
Met a woman on the streets named V. The early evening had grown cold and she was wearing short pants and a flimsy sweater. Socks and holey tennis shoes. Would I pray for her, she asked. Her hands hurt. And her arm. And, she was sad....something about her family...she sobbed quietly and I couldn't make out the rest. I prayed and hugged her. Please come to Nail Day, I ask. Stop in any time. Ask for me, please?
Sometimes I forget how powerful prayer is. I think I "should" be able to do something. Something more than prayer. Something more than asking my heavenly Dad to come and do what I cannot do - save and heal and rescue. So often I feel inadequate. I don't have a housing voucher or a solution for the driving voices of schizophrenia. I may or may not be able to run upstairs at the YWAM base and find warm clothes among the boxes of donated items.
But I do have love. I can introduce my new friend to my most faithful friend, Jesus. I can share the promise that we are never alone. My God is the God-who-sees. And what He sees is US.
This morning the staff gathered to worship and wait on God. We sang, "I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open.....Trusting you will make something beautiful out of me...."
AT first I thought about climbing some wilderness mountain, trudging uphill through the dust and rocks. Thirsty. Tired. Then, I realized this was the climbing of my imagination. I asked God about climbing. Where? What is this mountain like? Why are my hands open?
Suddenly the picture changed. I was climbing through green grasses and flowers. Under an umbrella of blue sky and clouds. Into the blue. Up. Up UP UP. Pushing. Panting a bit. stretching into each step. And, coming over a rise to the top, where blue sky stretches to heaven. And, my hands are wide open. Over my head. Raised up. And I am singing. Because my God is the God who sees. And He sees US.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Friday, July 26, 2013
There's an old song that starts "woke up this mornin' with my mind stayed on Jesus." Well, I woke up this morning with my mind firmly gerbil-wheeling about multiple problems, crisis situations and thoughts of people in trouble. Praying that God would keep A. alive until she finally realizes she needs help A is a multiply addicted young woman who is is worse shape every time I see her. Fretting about what's next for me. Wondering how God is going to accomplish some real stumpers I've been praying about for a LONG time. Feeling sorry for myself that I'm not able to go to New York to see my daughter Ruth in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.
All in all, a pretty pathetic greeting for this beautiful Friday.
Then, I met a young fireball named Rebecca Hathaway from Unlikely Heroes. This ministry has safe houses in the Philippines and Mexico and is starting the groundwork for an outreach to teen girls in prostitution in Oakland Calfornia.
Rebecca and I met to talk about their need for healing and recovery resources for these young women. They want to apply sound counseling principles with an awareness of "what works" to help people recover and heal from severe, complex trauma. They also want to integrate healing prayer, deliverance, and God's presence into every relationship, interaction, resource, and program.
How to do that? Meet someone who has just spent the last ??? years learning, exploring, experimenting, praying, studying, and finding out how to help women heal from trauma and abuse. How to integrate inner healing prayer and God's healing presence with sound, helpful, evidence-based counseling tools, techniques and practice. That's me!
Talking with Rebecca was like walking into a room and knowing, without looking, where every piece of furniture should be placed. Or taking a test and knowing the answers to every question. or hearing a song in your spirit and discovering someone else is singing the same song.
AND, the needs of Unlikely Heroes - Oakland are just about identical to the needs of women right here with Because Justice Matters in the Tenderloin. (More people singing the same song, it seems!)
Could it be that I will be able to team up with Rebecca (and perhaps another therapist) and create resources, curriculum, group outlines and workshop materials that can be used not only by Unlikely Heroes, but byBJM, Freedom House, BigBigHouse and many others? Wouldn't that be the absolutely most hilariously-wonderful, coolest God-thing? And, wouldn't I be so happy I'd dance down University Avenue in Madison?
Hmm....this seems like one of those things you couldn't plan if you tried. God-incidence! Let the dancing begin!
All in all, a pretty pathetic greeting for this beautiful Friday.
Then, I met a young fireball named Rebecca Hathaway from Unlikely Heroes. This ministry has safe houses in the Philippines and Mexico and is starting the groundwork for an outreach to teen girls in prostitution in Oakland Calfornia.
Rebecca and I met to talk about their need for healing and recovery resources for these young women. They want to apply sound counseling principles with an awareness of "what works" to help people recover and heal from severe, complex trauma. They also want to integrate healing prayer, deliverance, and God's presence into every relationship, interaction, resource, and program.
How to do that? Meet someone who has just spent the last ??? years learning, exploring, experimenting, praying, studying, and finding out how to help women heal from trauma and abuse. How to integrate inner healing prayer and God's healing presence with sound, helpful, evidence-based counseling tools, techniques and practice. That's me!
Talking with Rebecca was like walking into a room and knowing, without looking, where every piece of furniture should be placed. Or taking a test and knowing the answers to every question. or hearing a song in your spirit and discovering someone else is singing the same song.
AND, the needs of Unlikely Heroes - Oakland are just about identical to the needs of women right here with Because Justice Matters in the Tenderloin. (More people singing the same song, it seems!)
Could it be that I will be able to team up with Rebecca (and perhaps another therapist) and create resources, curriculum, group outlines and workshop materials that can be used not only by Unlikely Heroes, but byBJM, Freedom House, BigBigHouse and many others? Wouldn't that be the absolutely most hilariously-wonderful, coolest God-thing? And, wouldn't I be so happy I'd dance down University Avenue in Madison?
Hmm....this seems like one of those things you couldn't plan if you tried. God-incidence! Let the dancing begin!
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Generous Hearts Change Spiritual Atmospheres
Lindsay and I lead a bible study on Tuesdays. This week, two women came. The first, a gentle, tiny, bird-like woman, is a unique soul. She is an intercessor - praying for peace and an end to violence in her neighborhood. She always wears a single color from head to toe. You can see her coming a block away....a splash of purple or grass-green. Yellow knit cap covering her head and a yellow jacket, jogging pants, and tennies. Every day a different combination!
The second woman is C. She is a poet. Big chunks of memorized scripture sometimes pour out of her. She dreams of having a garden where "anyone can come.....anyone is welcome."
Tuesday was a day for gifts. Some BJM woman had received a prophetic word and image for C. Holy spirit nudged Lindsay and myself to buy a bouquet of brightly-colored flowers for our "bird-like" friend. It was special to find a bouquet with bright yellow mums and, hidden underneath the yellow petals were three pink roses. You had to hunt to find them...but there they were....beautiful roses in mid-bloom. Like our friend - you have to hunt to find her in the midst of all the noisy people clamoring for attention. But when you do - what a sweet surprise.
She loved her flowers. Smiled her shy, beautiful smile. Laughed when I commented how she was like the hidden roses. Hugs and smiles all around!
On the way home, she met a friend. He was weeping and distraught. He had just received the news of the death of a close loved one. In a neighborhood where people often come from fractured, alienated families, those close relationships are especially precious.
Our friend listened to his sadness. Her heart was touched. And, she gave her bouquet of beautiful flowers to him.
Such generosity! I wonder when she last received flowers When she last felt singled out for something special? And yet, this beautiful hidden rose simply gave her bouquet to a friend. She defied the spiritual atmosphere of the Tenderloin that says "keep what you have....there will never be enough." she released generosity. Flinging it into the face of lies and fear. Smiling her shy, gentle smile the whole time!
I am honored to know her.
The second woman is C. She is a poet. Big chunks of memorized scripture sometimes pour out of her. She dreams of having a garden where "anyone can come.....anyone is welcome."
Tuesday was a day for gifts. Some BJM woman had received a prophetic word and image for C. Holy spirit nudged Lindsay and myself to buy a bouquet of brightly-colored flowers for our "bird-like" friend. It was special to find a bouquet with bright yellow mums and, hidden underneath the yellow petals were three pink roses. You had to hunt to find them...but there they were....beautiful roses in mid-bloom. Like our friend - you have to hunt to find her in the midst of all the noisy people clamoring for attention. But when you do - what a sweet surprise.
She loved her flowers. Smiled her shy, beautiful smile. Laughed when I commented how she was like the hidden roses. Hugs and smiles all around!
On the way home, she met a friend. He was weeping and distraught. He had just received the news of the death of a close loved one. In a neighborhood where people often come from fractured, alienated families, those close relationships are especially precious.
Our friend listened to his sadness. Her heart was touched. And, she gave her bouquet of beautiful flowers to him.
Such generosity! I wonder when she last received flowers When she last felt singled out for something special? And yet, this beautiful hidden rose simply gave her bouquet to a friend. She defied the spiritual atmosphere of the Tenderloin that says "keep what you have....there will never be enough." she released generosity. Flinging it into the face of lies and fear. Smiling her shy, gentle smile the whole time!
I am honored to know her.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
What a week! The Women's Center is starting to look like a real place instead of a construction-style obstacle course. Wires no longer hang from who-knows-where. All pipes reportedly actually connect to someplace. The walls are being painted. A beautiful painting has been donated for the walls in the high-ceiling-ed sunlight-filled living room. Photo to come - I promise (now, just have to find someone to teach a sweet, helpless old woman how to get pictures from her camera to her computer and onto this blog...then, must go out and find a sweet, helpless old woman....details, details)
Friday I'm meeting with Rebecca Hathaway of Unlikely Heroes. This ministry creates safe houses for young women and children who have been trafficked into the sex trade. They already have one house in the Philippines and are building a second right now. They have a facility in Mexico with some children already in residence. More coming. These children are very young and were often sold to traffickers. Finally, Unlikely Heroes is laying the groundwork for an outreach to teens in prostitution in Oakland, California - right across the bay from San Francisco.
In Oakland, International Blvd has been called the longest "track" in America. This means the street is the longest stretch of roadway used to sell human beings. Longer than "pick up sites" in Vegas. Longer than trafficking centers in Los Angeles. Don't for one minute imagine "Pretty Woman" or high-end escorts making thousands of dollars. This is desperation. Foster kids who aged out and now have no family, education or marketable trade. Runaway teens. Women may once have seen prostitution as a "way up" - or out. But, they soon become involved with pimps who promise "protection" but, in reality, threaten, coerce, abuse, and control everything....including the money.
Unlikely Heroes wants to create a healing and recovery curriculum for women (and another for children) in those safe houses. They believe, as I do, that the most effective way to help young women and children find healing and change is to integrate sound, trauma-informed counseling practices with inner healing prayer ministry, worship, and the living, loving, powerful presence of God.
So, Friday Rebecca and I meet to talk about this vision. I have been preparing for the past 10 years for this. It's no accident!
Will let you know what happens. This is good, good, good!
Friday I'm meeting with Rebecca Hathaway of Unlikely Heroes. This ministry creates safe houses for young women and children who have been trafficked into the sex trade. They already have one house in the Philippines and are building a second right now. They have a facility in Mexico with some children already in residence. More coming. These children are very young and were often sold to traffickers. Finally, Unlikely Heroes is laying the groundwork for an outreach to teens in prostitution in Oakland, California - right across the bay from San Francisco.
In Oakland, International Blvd has been called the longest "track" in America. This means the street is the longest stretch of roadway used to sell human beings. Longer than "pick up sites" in Vegas. Longer than trafficking centers in Los Angeles. Don't for one minute imagine "Pretty Woman" or high-end escorts making thousands of dollars. This is desperation. Foster kids who aged out and now have no family, education or marketable trade. Runaway teens. Women may once have seen prostitution as a "way up" - or out. But, they soon become involved with pimps who promise "protection" but, in reality, threaten, coerce, abuse, and control everything....including the money.
Unlikely Heroes wants to create a healing and recovery curriculum for women (and another for children) in those safe houses. They believe, as I do, that the most effective way to help young women and children find healing and change is to integrate sound, trauma-informed counseling practices with inner healing prayer ministry, worship, and the living, loving, powerful presence of God.
So, Friday Rebecca and I meet to talk about this vision. I have been preparing for the past 10 years for this. It's no accident!
Will let you know what happens. This is good, good, good!
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Shifting Atmospheres...."They're getting ready to leave...they just don't know it yet."
Saturday at Golden Gate Park..lunch al fresco, tour of the deYoung Museum of Contemporary Art...dinner at a great restaurant in Little Saigon. All with Cathie Fredrichsen - a college girlfriend I haven't seen since 1975. Yep....dinosaurs roamed the earth last time we were together. But, we had a blast. Tomorrow taking a walking tour of the Castro neighborhood followed by Brunch. About as much coolness as I can handle for a single weekend.
What's happening? An intense, action-filled week. Nail Day with Hannah Montana sing-along. Tuesday we've started an "experiencing God" bible study. Same day I met Tyler, a homeless 20-something guy sitting on the sidewalk reading his bible. He knows a lot and says "I wouldn't have made it except for Jesus. " He looked high. Like he might have caught the less-successful end of a fight recently. Tired and maybe hungry. And there he was, reading the New Testament. Just hanging out getting food for his soul. We talked for a while. He let me speak to him about destiny and his Father God - who is calling him home.
Learning about shifting spiritual atmospheres. Here in the Tenderloin, people often create a spiritual atmosphere of chaos, anger, fear, or hyper-sexuality. This week, a bunch of guys parked their car in front of the base. Bone shakingly LOUD, pretty crude rap music pouring from their stereo. They're passing bottles around. Making rude and suggestive comments to any female on the street. the whole emotional atmosphere suddenly begins to shift. Yelling. Arguing. One woman starts to do a gyrating, pole-style dance right there in the street. A fight brews and threatens to break out.
The BJM beam has been learning about shifting spiritual atmospheres. Because we walk with God, the atmosphere doesn't change us, WE change the atmosphere. So, we began to release JOY. Peace instead of fear. We began to simply say, "This is holy ground. Holiness and goodness all around. Love lives here. LOVE is peaceful. Kindness. Peace all around....." We kept simply speaking these TRUE things. Here we are, standing inside the YWAM base. Outside, things were pretty crazy. We continued....recognizing that they had created one kind of atmosphere, but we carry and create a different one.
"Holiness. Holiness. God is all around. Love is all around. You are standing on holy ground."
Suddenly, the men get into their car. "They're getting ready to leave...they just don't know it yet," someone says. And, sure enough. They shut the doors and drive away. Just like that! Why? We can't be sure. But perhaps the spiritual atmosphere simply made them uncomfortable!
Within minutes, the street quieted. The arguing guys drifted apart. People began to go about their business. Mmmm...Much better.
This is a lesson for me in the Tenderloin. Where an atmosphere of fear, anger, conflict, chaos or sexual degradation occurs, we don't have to accept it. We also carry and can release a spiritual atmosphere. We can say to the atmosphere, "I see you. And I have authority over you."
What's happening? An intense, action-filled week. Nail Day with Hannah Montana sing-along. Tuesday we've started an "experiencing God" bible study. Same day I met Tyler, a homeless 20-something guy sitting on the sidewalk reading his bible. He knows a lot and says "I wouldn't have made it except for Jesus. " He looked high. Like he might have caught the less-successful end of a fight recently. Tired and maybe hungry. And there he was, reading the New Testament. Just hanging out getting food for his soul. We talked for a while. He let me speak to him about destiny and his Father God - who is calling him home.
Learning about shifting spiritual atmospheres. Here in the Tenderloin, people often create a spiritual atmosphere of chaos, anger, fear, or hyper-sexuality. This week, a bunch of guys parked their car in front of the base. Bone shakingly LOUD, pretty crude rap music pouring from their stereo. They're passing bottles around. Making rude and suggestive comments to any female on the street. the whole emotional atmosphere suddenly begins to shift. Yelling. Arguing. One woman starts to do a gyrating, pole-style dance right there in the street. A fight brews and threatens to break out.
The BJM beam has been learning about shifting spiritual atmospheres. Because we walk with God, the atmosphere doesn't change us, WE change the atmosphere. So, we began to release JOY. Peace instead of fear. We began to simply say, "This is holy ground. Holiness and goodness all around. Love lives here. LOVE is peaceful. Kindness. Peace all around....." We kept simply speaking these TRUE things. Here we are, standing inside the YWAM base. Outside, things were pretty crazy. We continued....recognizing that they had created one kind of atmosphere, but we carry and create a different one.
"Holiness. Holiness. God is all around. Love is all around. You are standing on holy ground."
Suddenly, the men get into their car. "They're getting ready to leave...they just don't know it yet," someone says. And, sure enough. They shut the doors and drive away. Just like that! Why? We can't be sure. But perhaps the spiritual atmosphere simply made them uncomfortable!
Within minutes, the street quieted. The arguing guys drifted apart. People began to go about their business. Mmmm...Much better.
This is a lesson for me in the Tenderloin. Where an atmosphere of fear, anger, conflict, chaos or sexual degradation occurs, we don't have to accept it. We also carry and can release a spiritual atmosphere. We can say to the atmosphere, "I see you. And I have authority over you."
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Hannah Montana and The Planter
I'm overdue for a blog that makes you laugh. And, laughter happens a lot around here. On Nail Day this Monday, we had Hannah Montana entertainment and a spontaneous poetry jam. One of the women, C, was a big fan of 80s and early 90s television - including Hannah Montana. On Monday, C. recruited one of the student interns (a show choir kid) and a fellow late-80s/early 90s girl from the staff. They performed a spontaneous dance routine right in the middle of Nail Day. Cheering. LOTS of laughter. No one could BELIEVE they all 3 knew this Hannah Montana dance routine and could remember it!
AFter the mini show choir number, C recited poetry. More laughter. And, some truly good poetry....I'll try to get some to post on this blog. She's one talented poet!
Nail Day was altogether a sweet, smiling time. Everyone loved the homemade chocolate chip cookies and coffee. M. came - and is speaking to me again! Great day!
Newest Tenderloin adventure: the city is trying a new eco-experiment....The Planter...also called the urinator by some of the more humor-driven YWAM staff. And, the experiment is going on right in front of the YWAM base. For the next month, people in the neighborhood can use this structure for #1 (as they say). The "input" is filtered and the liquid used to water large, barrel-grown fern-like plants. The whole structure is a cluster of shoulder-high boxes. One with a sink and water filter. The second with the actual urinal et al. and the third holds the plants.
Strange but true. This is simultaneously REALLY creepy for women walking by (I don't care if you can only see the person from the shoulders up, they're still going to the bathroom for heaven's sake!)AND and extremely creative, eco-friendly attempt to provide safe access to toilets for homeless people in the city.
So, if this works, the Planter will create its own mini-green space. And, at the risk of sounding like NIMBY, I'd be happy to see the experiment moved somewhere other than our front door!
Learning more every day about the practical challenges of life for people who don't have homes. Bed bugs in the shelters, random police round-ups (one guy has slept in the same place for 2 years and suddenly the police are rousting him out in the middle of the night....why? who knows...he sure doesn't).
So, tomorrow I get to teach on healthy relationships to the guys in 360 - a group of men who commit to a 1 year program of discipleship and personal growth. They are wonderful, kind, insightful men. I'm happy to be out on loan to 360 for Wednesday and thursday mornings this week. And, to be able to teach for the first time in a long, long time. Sweet!
AFter the mini show choir number, C recited poetry. More laughter. And, some truly good poetry....I'll try to get some to post on this blog. She's one talented poet!
Nail Day was altogether a sweet, smiling time. Everyone loved the homemade chocolate chip cookies and coffee. M. came - and is speaking to me again! Great day!
Newest Tenderloin adventure: the city is trying a new eco-experiment....The Planter...also called the urinator by some of the more humor-driven YWAM staff. And, the experiment is going on right in front of the YWAM base. For the next month, people in the neighborhood can use this structure for #1 (as they say). The "input" is filtered and the liquid used to water large, barrel-grown fern-like plants. The whole structure is a cluster of shoulder-high boxes. One with a sink and water filter. The second with the actual urinal et al. and the third holds the plants.
Strange but true. This is simultaneously REALLY creepy for women walking by (I don't care if you can only see the person from the shoulders up, they're still going to the bathroom for heaven's sake!)AND and extremely creative, eco-friendly attempt to provide safe access to toilets for homeless people in the city.
So, if this works, the Planter will create its own mini-green space. And, at the risk of sounding like NIMBY, I'd be happy to see the experiment moved somewhere other than our front door!
Learning more every day about the practical challenges of life for people who don't have homes. Bed bugs in the shelters, random police round-ups (one guy has slept in the same place for 2 years and suddenly the police are rousting him out in the middle of the night....why? who knows...he sure doesn't).
So, tomorrow I get to teach on healthy relationships to the guys in 360 - a group of men who commit to a 1 year program of discipleship and personal growth. They are wonderful, kind, insightful men. I'm happy to be out on loan to 360 for Wednesday and thursday mornings this week. And, to be able to teach for the first time in a long, long time. Sweet!
Sunday, July 14, 2013
This is what human Trafficking Looks Like in the Tenderloin Today
Once, a woman named Hagar was sold into slavery. She became her owner's concubine. that was common in those days. And, when she gave birth to a son, it opened new doors for her. Now, she was more than a servant. She could hope for protection. After all, the master's only son was her son. As the story unfolds, Hagar gets big ideas. She flaunts herself and her son in front of the master's wife. Nothing good comes from this....and, as you might guess, the wife says, "Choose. Her or me."
Hagar ends up on the old-time, nomadic culture version of the streets - expelled from the camp and left to die in the desert.
Things can't get much worse than this. Hagar and her little son will die. thirst, wild animals and even wilder desert tribesmen are threats to anyone outside the protective walls of the camp. So, Hagar prepares to die.
She calls out to God for help. And, He comes. He speaks to her. He leads her to a well. She says, "You are the God who sees me." And he does...Hagar and her little boy live. the boy goes on to become a powerful man - entire Arab nations trace their family lines back to Hagar's son.
So, Saturday about 5, I came downstairs from my room into the "Ellis Room" - the large room at the YWAM base that faces the street. Most of the "big stuff" happens here. During the week it is a rumble of activity. Food Pantry for elderly neighbors on Thursdays. Monday afternoon is Nail Day and the room is filled with chatting, smiling women enjoying coffee, treats, art projects and manicures. Most mornings, men gather to play pool, chess, dominoes and just "be" in a safe place. People are referred for social service needs. Friday, folks come to take showers....a seemingly endless stream of people and nice, hot water. Soap and shampoo. Bodies and souls just feel better.
This Saturday the Ellis Room was empty. Quiet inside. The noise of the streets outside. A stretch limo pulls up outside our door. Hmmm...Wonder which YWAMer ordered this for a Saturday night date? My friend Missy comes in and we joke a little. Jesus sent a limo to take us to church tonight...
The limo driver is well dressed. The vehicle has FOUR doors and all but the front windows are so darkly tinted we can't see inside.
The driver locks the door and rambles down the street. It looks as if he's searching for a street address. Here? In the Tenderloin? The YWAM base is surrounded by run-down SRO housing (single room occupancy). People literally live on the concrete sidewalks. Not your expected destination for a shiny, black stretch limo.
Minutes later, the driver returns with a man and woman. I know that man. BIG, bald guy. Wears gold earrings. He hangs out near the bar on the corner. I suspect he's a drug dealer but... The woman with him looks in her 30s. She could be ten years younger. People look older in the Tenderloin. She's wearing black capri pants and a sleeveless t-shirt. Silver, shiny sandals. She could be headed out for coffee with girlfriends. She doesn't look compromised (intoxicated or "out of it.) The gold earring guy and the driver give each other one of the back-slapping "guy hugs." Hmmm. Then, things seem to move in slow motion.
the driver opens the back door of the limo. Inside, everything is dark. The woman takes a last drag on her cigarette...blowing the smoke straight up so it won't enter the limo. The woman climbs into the back seat. The driver follows. The door shuts. Earring guy walks away.
I'm thinking if the driver doesn't emerge immediately, I'm calling the police. About 2 minutes pass and he exits. Shuts the door, climbs behind the wheel and drives off.
Then, I realize my heart feels squeezed - as if a big fist has reached into my chest. I whisper, "Jesus help." over and over. I worry for this woman.
I worry about who is in the limo. Will men wealthy enough to rent this vehicle think a woman from the Tenderloin is "nothing"? Obviously anyone who buys human beings must think they are disposable. To be used and forgotten. Will they hurt her? Looks like the guy with the earring is a pimp in addition to a drug dealer. Were men already in the car? Or, does the driver operate a "mobile brothel" going from appointment to appointment all night?
Calling police is useless. I have no proof that anything bad is happening. In any case, in San Francisco - like many places including Madison - woman are arrested for prostitution. People caught in the sex trade don't need jail. They need help - safe housing and counseling and job training. an escape hatch to exit the life they've become trapped in.
I cried out to Jesus at Revive church that evening. Feeling helpless and angry. He reminded me that I was praying. Not "just praying" as I had told myself. But prayer with power. Releasing the Kingdom of God around that woman. Around the limo with its unseen passengers and the driver and the earring guy.
He reminded me "I am the God who sees her....Just as I saw Hagar."
After church my friends Lisa and Missy and I went to Gracias Madre, a vegan restaurant in the Mission neighborhood. Great food. We talked and laughed and had a good time. On the wall at the entrance, is a stunning mural of Mary, Jesus's mother. She is depicted standing in the middle of a farmer's field in Mexico. Mountains in the background. Light surrounding her. And, from her heart flows a shining, silver-blue river. It flows out toward me. Around me. Into the world.
Our God is the God who sees. He said, "Come to me and I will give you living water so you will never be thirsty again."
This is what sex trafficking looks like today in the Tenderloin.
Hagar ends up on the old-time, nomadic culture version of the streets - expelled from the camp and left to die in the desert.
Things can't get much worse than this. Hagar and her little son will die. thirst, wild animals and even wilder desert tribesmen are threats to anyone outside the protective walls of the camp. So, Hagar prepares to die.
She calls out to God for help. And, He comes. He speaks to her. He leads her to a well. She says, "You are the God who sees me." And he does...Hagar and her little boy live. the boy goes on to become a powerful man - entire Arab nations trace their family lines back to Hagar's son.
So, Saturday about 5, I came downstairs from my room into the "Ellis Room" - the large room at the YWAM base that faces the street. Most of the "big stuff" happens here. During the week it is a rumble of activity. Food Pantry for elderly neighbors on Thursdays. Monday afternoon is Nail Day and the room is filled with chatting, smiling women enjoying coffee, treats, art projects and manicures. Most mornings, men gather to play pool, chess, dominoes and just "be" in a safe place. People are referred for social service needs. Friday, folks come to take showers....a seemingly endless stream of people and nice, hot water. Soap and shampoo. Bodies and souls just feel better.
This Saturday the Ellis Room was empty. Quiet inside. The noise of the streets outside. A stretch limo pulls up outside our door. Hmmm...Wonder which YWAMer ordered this for a Saturday night date? My friend Missy comes in and we joke a little. Jesus sent a limo to take us to church tonight...
The limo driver is well dressed. The vehicle has FOUR doors and all but the front windows are so darkly tinted we can't see inside.
The driver locks the door and rambles down the street. It looks as if he's searching for a street address. Here? In the Tenderloin? The YWAM base is surrounded by run-down SRO housing (single room occupancy). People literally live on the concrete sidewalks. Not your expected destination for a shiny, black stretch limo.
Minutes later, the driver returns with a man and woman. I know that man. BIG, bald guy. Wears gold earrings. He hangs out near the bar on the corner. I suspect he's a drug dealer but... The woman with him looks in her 30s. She could be ten years younger. People look older in the Tenderloin. She's wearing black capri pants and a sleeveless t-shirt. Silver, shiny sandals. She could be headed out for coffee with girlfriends. She doesn't look compromised (intoxicated or "out of it.) The gold earring guy and the driver give each other one of the back-slapping "guy hugs." Hmmm. Then, things seem to move in slow motion.
the driver opens the back door of the limo. Inside, everything is dark. The woman takes a last drag on her cigarette...blowing the smoke straight up so it won't enter the limo. The woman climbs into the back seat. The driver follows. The door shuts. Earring guy walks away.
I'm thinking if the driver doesn't emerge immediately, I'm calling the police. About 2 minutes pass and he exits. Shuts the door, climbs behind the wheel and drives off.
Then, I realize my heart feels squeezed - as if a big fist has reached into my chest. I whisper, "Jesus help." over and over. I worry for this woman.
I worry about who is in the limo. Will men wealthy enough to rent this vehicle think a woman from the Tenderloin is "nothing"? Obviously anyone who buys human beings must think they are disposable. To be used and forgotten. Will they hurt her? Looks like the guy with the earring is a pimp in addition to a drug dealer. Were men already in the car? Or, does the driver operate a "mobile brothel" going from appointment to appointment all night?
Calling police is useless. I have no proof that anything bad is happening. In any case, in San Francisco - like many places including Madison - woman are arrested for prostitution. People caught in the sex trade don't need jail. They need help - safe housing and counseling and job training. an escape hatch to exit the life they've become trapped in.
I cried out to Jesus at Revive church that evening. Feeling helpless and angry. He reminded me that I was praying. Not "just praying" as I had told myself. But prayer with power. Releasing the Kingdom of God around that woman. Around the limo with its unseen passengers and the driver and the earring guy.
He reminded me "I am the God who sees her....Just as I saw Hagar."
After church my friends Lisa and Missy and I went to Gracias Madre, a vegan restaurant in the Mission neighborhood. Great food. We talked and laughed and had a good time. On the wall at the entrance, is a stunning mural of Mary, Jesus's mother. She is depicted standing in the middle of a farmer's field in Mexico. Mountains in the background. Light surrounding her. And, from her heart flows a shining, silver-blue river. It flows out toward me. Around me. Into the world.
Our God is the God who sees. He said, "Come to me and I will give you living water so you will never be thirsty again."
This is what sex trafficking looks like today in the Tenderloin.
Dream BIG
Beautiful Saturday.
I am growing to love the Tenderloin. Friday I spent the morning in Pacifica - a south-of-San Francisco community that is more suburban than urban. Connected with Peggy, a psychotherapist who uses collaging and other art forms in trauma therapy with women. She is wonderful, kind, and full of insight. Sat in her back yard - a quiet, wooded place overlooking a beautiful valley. California sun. Mmmm.
In the circle was Lindsay, director of the Women's Center, Rebecca, soon-to-be director of Unlikely Heroes Oakland - a safe house/rescue program focused on offering a "way out" to teen girls trafficked on International Blvd in Oakland, California. Oakland is a poorer community in the Bay area, with large hispanic and African American populations. Gangs, unemployment, drugs and prostitution are serious community-wide problems. International Blvd has been called the longest "track" of street prostitution in the United States. For blocks, girls - and some young boys as well - line the sidewalks waiting for johns to drive up in their cars.
Rebecca and Unlikely Heroes plan to open a safe house and outreach to these girls.
So, in the quiet back yard, warmed by the sun, four women met to talk about what recovery and healing might look like for these young women. We talked about counseling and therapy. We talked about the Presence of God, which heals deep, hidden hurts. We talked about how to bring young girls who have learned not to trust anyone to Jesus to be healed and made whole. We talked about hope and dreams and vision so big it seems impossible. Except God...
After this time of hop and vision, I returned to the Tenderloin. I noticed that I felt actual joy as we pulled onto Ellis Street. I kept thinking, "The Women's Center is going to be a deep well of healing. God is going to bring women in a steady stream. Come on! let's GO! We're READY."
I am growing to love the Tenderloin. Friday I spent the morning in Pacifica - a south-of-San Francisco community that is more suburban than urban. Connected with Peggy, a psychotherapist who uses collaging and other art forms in trauma therapy with women. She is wonderful, kind, and full of insight. Sat in her back yard - a quiet, wooded place overlooking a beautiful valley. California sun. Mmmm.
In the circle was Lindsay, director of the Women's Center, Rebecca, soon-to-be director of Unlikely Heroes Oakland - a safe house/rescue program focused on offering a "way out" to teen girls trafficked on International Blvd in Oakland, California. Oakland is a poorer community in the Bay area, with large hispanic and African American populations. Gangs, unemployment, drugs and prostitution are serious community-wide problems. International Blvd has been called the longest "track" of street prostitution in the United States. For blocks, girls - and some young boys as well - line the sidewalks waiting for johns to drive up in their cars.
Rebecca and Unlikely Heroes plan to open a safe house and outreach to these girls.
So, in the quiet back yard, warmed by the sun, four women met to talk about what recovery and healing might look like for these young women. We talked about counseling and therapy. We talked about the Presence of God, which heals deep, hidden hurts. We talked about how to bring young girls who have learned not to trust anyone to Jesus to be healed and made whole. We talked about hope and dreams and vision so big it seems impossible. Except God...
After this time of hop and vision, I returned to the Tenderloin. I noticed that I felt actual joy as we pulled onto Ellis Street. I kept thinking, "The Women's Center is going to be a deep well of healing. God is going to bring women in a steady stream. Come on! let's GO! We're READY."
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
This is what human trafficking looks like in the Tenderloin today
Wednesday...one of those beautiful cool San Francisco days.
The legal system is grinding on as the court holds a public hearing about "Total Comfort Spa" - a business about 1 block from here that claims to earn money by allowing men to rest, drink water, and take showers during the day and night.
When police searched the property and found massage beds, the owner claims they were "here when we moved in" and "we just haven't gotten rid of them."
When the judge asks, "What do you do in your business?" The man pretends not to understand. Then says that men come to "rest" during the day (or night). He points to a bewildered and frightened looking young Asian woman dressed in a business suit and introduces her as "my employee." What does she do? the judge asks. "She brings water and towels to the men."
Do you use the massage beds? the judge asks.....the business is not registered or inspected as a massage parlor, so use of the beds is illegal. "No" the man insists.
Evidently the "resting men" lean against the wall or lie on floors or perhaps levitate. This man, who divides his time between his "business interests" in Los Angeles and Total Comfort Spa here in the Tenderloin, tells bold lie after bold lie. He acts as if everyone should think it natural and true that men pay to rest in rooms where they don't use the beds and beautiful, young Asian women simply hand them water and towels. He describes the tough-looking bouncer who guards the locked front door 24/7 as "security."
The judge doesn't ask to talk to the frightened young woman. And, what would she say? She may be here illegally. She may be frightened for her life. She may have a child or aged parent to support. She may live in the building 24/7 and is rarely (ever?) allowed to leave. No one knows. And, no one asked.
What I'm understanding is the obstacle course that law enforcement, government, and communities must navigate to address sex trafficking. Simply knowing that the owner's answers to the judge are absurd and false does not constitute proof. And, fortunately, our nation is a nation of laws. People are not supposed to be convicted without proof.
And, this creates a setting where trafficking can happen and continue to happen because sufficient evidence can't be found to prove that the law is being broken.
This was the work of BJM today. Lisa and Lindsay attended this public hearing. The rest of us prayed. Two of the interns spent the afternoon as they spend many others - gathering information about every spa, massage parlor, and bath house in the Tenderloin. Investing work and prayer toward a day when they are gone. Closed. And grocery stores, book shops, dry cleaners, day care centers, non-profits and restaurants bring life to every storefront that now is used for selling human beings.
The legal system is grinding on as the court holds a public hearing about "Total Comfort Spa" - a business about 1 block from here that claims to earn money by allowing men to rest, drink water, and take showers during the day and night.
When police searched the property and found massage beds, the owner claims they were "here when we moved in" and "we just haven't gotten rid of them."
When the judge asks, "What do you do in your business?" The man pretends not to understand. Then says that men come to "rest" during the day (or night). He points to a bewildered and frightened looking young Asian woman dressed in a business suit and introduces her as "my employee." What does she do? the judge asks. "She brings water and towels to the men."
Do you use the massage beds? the judge asks.....the business is not registered or inspected as a massage parlor, so use of the beds is illegal. "No" the man insists.
Evidently the "resting men" lean against the wall or lie on floors or perhaps levitate. This man, who divides his time between his "business interests" in Los Angeles and Total Comfort Spa here in the Tenderloin, tells bold lie after bold lie. He acts as if everyone should think it natural and true that men pay to rest in rooms where they don't use the beds and beautiful, young Asian women simply hand them water and towels. He describes the tough-looking bouncer who guards the locked front door 24/7 as "security."
The judge doesn't ask to talk to the frightened young woman. And, what would she say? She may be here illegally. She may be frightened for her life. She may have a child or aged parent to support. She may live in the building 24/7 and is rarely (ever?) allowed to leave. No one knows. And, no one asked.
What I'm understanding is the obstacle course that law enforcement, government, and communities must navigate to address sex trafficking. Simply knowing that the owner's answers to the judge are absurd and false does not constitute proof. And, fortunately, our nation is a nation of laws. People are not supposed to be convicted without proof.
And, this creates a setting where trafficking can happen and continue to happen because sufficient evidence can't be found to prove that the law is being broken.
This was the work of BJM today. Lisa and Lindsay attended this public hearing. The rest of us prayed. Two of the interns spent the afternoon as they spend many others - gathering information about every spa, massage parlor, and bath house in the Tenderloin. Investing work and prayer toward a day when they are gone. Closed. And grocery stores, book shops, dry cleaners, day care centers, non-profits and restaurants bring life to every storefront that now is used for selling human beings.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
The daughters freaked just the tiniest bit at the last post about being locked out on the backyard patio. Me, "Guys, I was surrounded by a 10 foot tall fence. The closest anyone could get to me was nearly 1/2 block away at the other side of the park." Them: "Mom, you're 61 years old. You have to be more careful." Me: I'm not 61 yet....not til September."
Quiet week. Dinner and a mani-pedi with my daughter Beth and her boyfriend's wonderful mom, Karen. Everything is more fun when your toes are painted and shiny. Learning how to manage the city bus routes - sorta. Growing more and more to love this city - though not necessarily the city government.
The city is rebuilding the park that borders YWAM's back yard (translated: YWAM's 6 feet of weeds and a couple of trees border the park edge). The city doesn't allow access to the park unless a) a police officer is present and b) only adults with children are allowed inside.
So, YWAM's rear fire exit opens into the park. The city wants to close this emergency exit so no one could enter the park during "closed" hours. YWAM must have the fire exit in order to continue to use their basement for visiting mission groups, hold community lunches in their dining room, and host large movie or other "special" events. Right now, fire code allows 200 people in the building. With the rear fire door blocked off, that number will be reduced to fewer than 100.
This is a BIG deal. BIG BIG BIG. Imagine cancelling a weekly community lunch where more than 100 people come to eat. Imagine telling high school youth groups who want to come and learn about urban missions that only a handful of them can come. Imagine shutting the door on movie day because a "capacity limit" has been reached - when the room isn't full at all!
Please pray. The city has been resistant and inflexible. Promises from YWAM that the emergency exit would never, ever be used except in an emergency have been largely dismissed. When YWAM staff presented evidence that they would incur substantial expenses to reconfigure space, no one seemed concerned.
Please pray. YWAM's contribution to this community is enormous. It is appropriate that the community honor that history by "grandfathering" the emergency exit.
PS: "M" was agitated and upset today. Please pray for her.
Quiet week. Dinner and a mani-pedi with my daughter Beth and her boyfriend's wonderful mom, Karen. Everything is more fun when your toes are painted and shiny. Learning how to manage the city bus routes - sorta. Growing more and more to love this city - though not necessarily the city government.
The city is rebuilding the park that borders YWAM's back yard (translated: YWAM's 6 feet of weeds and a couple of trees border the park edge). The city doesn't allow access to the park unless a) a police officer is present and b) only adults with children are allowed inside.
So, YWAM's rear fire exit opens into the park. The city wants to close this emergency exit so no one could enter the park during "closed" hours. YWAM must have the fire exit in order to continue to use their basement for visiting mission groups, hold community lunches in their dining room, and host large movie or other "special" events. Right now, fire code allows 200 people in the building. With the rear fire door blocked off, that number will be reduced to fewer than 100.
This is a BIG deal. BIG BIG BIG. Imagine cancelling a weekly community lunch where more than 100 people come to eat. Imagine telling high school youth groups who want to come and learn about urban missions that only a handful of them can come. Imagine shutting the door on movie day because a "capacity limit" has been reached - when the room isn't full at all!
Please pray. The city has been resistant and inflexible. Promises from YWAM that the emergency exit would never, ever be used except in an emergency have been largely dismissed. When YWAM staff presented evidence that they would incur substantial expenses to reconfigure space, no one seemed concerned.
Please pray. YWAM's contribution to this community is enormous. It is appropriate that the community honor that history by "grandfathering" the emergency exit.
PS: "M" was agitated and upset today. Please pray for her.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Sunday sleep-in, a rescue, and the rest about Super Duper Burger
So, I found a church!!! For me, having a church where I feel at home is as important as eating or sleeping. It's called Revive. It's my kind of place. Kind of disorganized. Random people take the microphone during worship. Worship is long, passionate, joyful and often wild. Last night we ended with a fire tunnel and I was gloriously "fired."
Revive is a Bethel Church plant. Tree of Life peeps, they have our DNA!
So, I worship on Saturday with Revive and get to sleep in on Sunday. This is actually my favorite way to flow!
Yesterday, I locked myself on the patio of the building next door to the YWAM base. I had my computer (no phone) and WiFi. I emailed my 3 daughters also Paul and Donna Bell in Madison. I gave them the 3 phone numbers of YWAM folks I could find in my email archives. Help! Please rescue me!
Ruth, my NYC daughter, called and called until she reached a BJM staffer on vacation. She, in turn, called someone on the base who came down and rescued me. In all, I was stranded for almost 2 hours. People in four different states were involved. Some drama. Mostly laughing. The teasing hasn't begun yet....
I had an opportunity to think about the possibility that I would sleep outside all night. I saw black plastic garbage bags and thought I could, in a pinch, wrap them around me as some kind of insulation. My toes were getting cold. I thought about how the people who sleep outside take their shoes off so no one will steal them as the sleep. How many sleep in the day because the night is so dangerous.
I pondered how to contact police or whether one of the homeless men who come to the base might walk by on the street across from the park. Could I yell for help? Would anyone hear over the noises of the street and the wind? I prayed, Jesus I need your help. Please send someone.
Of course, Missy came and all was well. I had never been in any danger - except for cold toes.
Finally I neglected to tell ya'll about Super Duper Burger the other night. Mmmmm. Best burger I've had in a long time. And, sweet conversation with a young BJM intern from the flatlands of Central Illinois. Seeing her grow before my eyes in the weeks I've known her. This business of entering the world of the Tenderloin and the people who live here - it changes you.
As Heidi Baker said, "Smaller" (hand on her head)....."Bigger" (Hand on her heart). Changing.
Revive is a Bethel Church plant. Tree of Life peeps, they have our DNA!
So, I worship on Saturday with Revive and get to sleep in on Sunday. This is actually my favorite way to flow!
Yesterday, I locked myself on the patio of the building next door to the YWAM base. I had my computer (no phone) and WiFi. I emailed my 3 daughters also Paul and Donna Bell in Madison. I gave them the 3 phone numbers of YWAM folks I could find in my email archives. Help! Please rescue me!
Ruth, my NYC daughter, called and called until she reached a BJM staffer on vacation. She, in turn, called someone on the base who came down and rescued me. In all, I was stranded for almost 2 hours. People in four different states were involved. Some drama. Mostly laughing. The teasing hasn't begun yet....
I had an opportunity to think about the possibility that I would sleep outside all night. I saw black plastic garbage bags and thought I could, in a pinch, wrap them around me as some kind of insulation. My toes were getting cold. I thought about how the people who sleep outside take their shoes off so no one will steal them as the sleep. How many sleep in the day because the night is so dangerous.
I pondered how to contact police or whether one of the homeless men who come to the base might walk by on the street across from the park. Could I yell for help? Would anyone hear over the noises of the street and the wind? I prayed, Jesus I need your help. Please send someone.
Of course, Missy came and all was well. I had never been in any danger - except for cold toes.
Finally I neglected to tell ya'll about Super Duper Burger the other night. Mmmmm. Best burger I've had in a long time. And, sweet conversation with a young BJM intern from the flatlands of Central Illinois. Seeing her grow before my eyes in the weeks I've known her. This business of entering the world of the Tenderloin and the people who live here - it changes you.
As Heidi Baker said, "Smaller" (hand on her head)....."Bigger" (Hand on her heart). Changing.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Mental Illness and Love
Wednesday and Super Duper Burger.
Today, a woman who usually comes to Nail Day came in to the drop in center. usually I'm not involved there....unless a woman comes in who need special help. Last week it was a frail, trembling soul who was addicted to crack and pleading for help. This week it was M.
Now, most of the day-center folks are men. A fruit-basket upset of young and old, Black, White, Asian. Most are sleeping on the concrete. A few have small SRO apartments here in the Tenderloin. They play pool, chess, cards and dominoes. Wednesday afternoons, Ali - who once lived on the streets when he was active in his addiction - leads a bible study. He's a Joyce Meyer fan, a courageous peacemaker and owner of a new motorcycle! A couple of weeks ago when the guy with the machete was yelling and threatening folks on the street, Ali ran TOWARD the guy while everyone else was running away.
So....into the center comes M. She protects herself on the street - and during times of emotional distress - with more than one personality. One personality roars and screams loudly. Useful for scaring folks away. Not so useful in YWAM's ellis room during the day. Ali calmly tells the men "She'll be okay. Everything is okay." One of the staff gave her a pastry and a cup of coffee. One of the young interns came looking for some BJM staff. No staff, so I came to see if I could help.
I know M. I've been given her name to pray for all summer. I've been declaring God's will into her life.....healed, clothed and in her right mind. At peace. Finding Jesus as her safe place and beloved protector....
M was roaring. Ordered me to "go away. Don't look at me."
I followed the example of one of the BJM staff during an earlier "event" and said, "You're safe here. We love you here." She screamed. I said it again. Screamed. Repeat. Again. during a pause, I ventured...."Could I get you more coffee?" This time, the scream was followed by a whispered, "Yes, thank you." Scream. Whisper...."Not too much sugar, please."
The coffee was hot and not too sweet! I could be a barista in a place with challenging customers, maybe.... M. took the cup and yelled at me not to get too close. Not to touch her things. Then, she moved her bags so I could draw up a chair next to her. We both sat quietly. She sipping her coffee. Me praying silently. Crying out, "Oh Jesus, we need you. M. needs you. Send Angels. Rescue her!"
In time, M. quiets. Her facial expression changes. She no longer cringes and screams. We talk.
Do I like Paris, France? she asks. My second favorite city in the world (after San Francisco)! Yes! I reply. I was only there once but I want to go again. What did you like about Paris?
M and I share "We love Paris" moments. She speaks, much later, of a frightening thing that happened. "You know, we won't allow that here," I say. "Jesus is here and we are safe."
M. smiles a tiny smile. "I know," she whispers.
She lets me pray for her. I ask Father God to protect her. And to pour peace over like a warm shower. To keep pouring until every part of her feels safe and protected.
Now, the Ellis room is closing for lunch. M. will eat across the street at Glide - a program that feeds thousands of homeless people every week. I will join the YWAM staff and students for sloppy joes and cucumber salad. I will hold M. in my heart. Laugh a little about our Paris conversation (both of us liked museums, the food and the Siene River lights at night....has she actually been there? Not sure. Does it matter? Nope.)
Here at YWAM San Francisco, some progress is counted in the tiniest of measures. A moment. A person saying "Yes, you can pray for me." The broken, wounded part a woman uses as protection between herself and a dangerous world feels safe enough to stand down. To whisper, "Thank you." to sip coffee and talk about Paris and Jesus and love.
Today, a woman who usually comes to Nail Day came in to the drop in center. usually I'm not involved there....unless a woman comes in who need special help. Last week it was a frail, trembling soul who was addicted to crack and pleading for help. This week it was M.
Now, most of the day-center folks are men. A fruit-basket upset of young and old, Black, White, Asian. Most are sleeping on the concrete. A few have small SRO apartments here in the Tenderloin. They play pool, chess, cards and dominoes. Wednesday afternoons, Ali - who once lived on the streets when he was active in his addiction - leads a bible study. He's a Joyce Meyer fan, a courageous peacemaker and owner of a new motorcycle! A couple of weeks ago when the guy with the machete was yelling and threatening folks on the street, Ali ran TOWARD the guy while everyone else was running away.
So....into the center comes M. She protects herself on the street - and during times of emotional distress - with more than one personality. One personality roars and screams loudly. Useful for scaring folks away. Not so useful in YWAM's ellis room during the day. Ali calmly tells the men "She'll be okay. Everything is okay." One of the staff gave her a pastry and a cup of coffee. One of the young interns came looking for some BJM staff. No staff, so I came to see if I could help.
I know M. I've been given her name to pray for all summer. I've been declaring God's will into her life.....healed, clothed and in her right mind. At peace. Finding Jesus as her safe place and beloved protector....
M was roaring. Ordered me to "go away. Don't look at me."
I followed the example of one of the BJM staff during an earlier "event" and said, "You're safe here. We love you here." She screamed. I said it again. Screamed. Repeat. Again. during a pause, I ventured...."Could I get you more coffee?" This time, the scream was followed by a whispered, "Yes, thank you." Scream. Whisper...."Not too much sugar, please."
The coffee was hot and not too sweet! I could be a barista in a place with challenging customers, maybe.... M. took the cup and yelled at me not to get too close. Not to touch her things. Then, she moved her bags so I could draw up a chair next to her. We both sat quietly. She sipping her coffee. Me praying silently. Crying out, "Oh Jesus, we need you. M. needs you. Send Angels. Rescue her!"
In time, M. quiets. Her facial expression changes. She no longer cringes and screams. We talk.
Do I like Paris, France? she asks. My second favorite city in the world (after San Francisco)! Yes! I reply. I was only there once but I want to go again. What did you like about Paris?
M and I share "We love Paris" moments. She speaks, much later, of a frightening thing that happened. "You know, we won't allow that here," I say. "Jesus is here and we are safe."
M. smiles a tiny smile. "I know," she whispers.
She lets me pray for her. I ask Father God to protect her. And to pour peace over like a warm shower. To keep pouring until every part of her feels safe and protected.
Now, the Ellis room is closing for lunch. M. will eat across the street at Glide - a program that feeds thousands of homeless people every week. I will join the YWAM staff and students for sloppy joes and cucumber salad. I will hold M. in my heart. Laugh a little about our Paris conversation (both of us liked museums, the food and the Siene River lights at night....has she actually been there? Not sure. Does it matter? Nope.)
Here at YWAM San Francisco, some progress is counted in the tiniest of measures. A moment. A person saying "Yes, you can pray for me." The broken, wounded part a woman uses as protection between herself and a dangerous world feels safe enough to stand down. To whisper, "Thank you." to sip coffee and talk about Paris and Jesus and love.
Monday, July 1, 2013
Foster Kids in the Tenderloin
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kevin-m-ryan/homeless-youth-sex-trafficking_b_3321193.html
LInk to an interesting article. A consistent part of many (most? almost all?) of the stories I hear from women in the Tenderloin is either "I was molested by (fill in the blank with father, step-father, mom's boyfriend, foster father, grandpa or other....When I got old enough, I ran away)." Or, "I was a foster kid. It was pretty bad. Then I aged out. And, it got worse."
Nearly every day at the YWAM base here, some kid walks in looking disheveled and none-too-clean. He or she is lugging a backpack and a load of mistrust. It's apparent the kid is sleeping on the streets or worse. We're seeing, once again, the results of a broken foster care system.
These same kids roam State Street back in Madison. They sleep in empty buildings on E. Wash. and maybe - we hope - show up at Briarpatch. They panhandle and steal. And, in tough times, they sell their bodies for food or money or a place to sleep.
Saturday I met Melissa Hathaway from Unlikely Heroes. This ministry was birthed out of Bethel Church in Redding. They have opened one safe house in the Philippines and are raising funds for a second. A team of people are laying the groundwork - spiritually and logistically - for a safe house in Mexico. And, Melissa is doing "scout work" for a similar project for teen runaways and former foster kids right here in San Francisco.
Going to talk with Melissa about creating curriculum for trauma-informed recovery models that integrates healing prayer and clinically-sound treatment tools. Waiting to see what this means. What this might look like. What God has up his sleeve!
LInk to an interesting article. A consistent part of many (most? almost all?) of the stories I hear from women in the Tenderloin is either "I was molested by (fill in the blank with father, step-father, mom's boyfriend, foster father, grandpa or other....When I got old enough, I ran away)." Or, "I was a foster kid. It was pretty bad. Then I aged out. And, it got worse."
Nearly every day at the YWAM base here, some kid walks in looking disheveled and none-too-clean. He or she is lugging a backpack and a load of mistrust. It's apparent the kid is sleeping on the streets or worse. We're seeing, once again, the results of a broken foster care system.
These same kids roam State Street back in Madison. They sleep in empty buildings on E. Wash. and maybe - we hope - show up at Briarpatch. They panhandle and steal. And, in tough times, they sell their bodies for food or money or a place to sleep.
Saturday I met Melissa Hathaway from Unlikely Heroes. This ministry was birthed out of Bethel Church in Redding. They have opened one safe house in the Philippines and are raising funds for a second. A team of people are laying the groundwork - spiritually and logistically - for a safe house in Mexico. And, Melissa is doing "scout work" for a similar project for teen runaways and former foster kids right here in San Francisco.
Going to talk with Melissa about creating curriculum for trauma-informed recovery models that integrates healing prayer and clinically-sound treatment tools. Waiting to see what this means. What this might look like. What God has up his sleeve!
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